I really wanted to look at my butt.
I shoved my hand down the back of my pajamas and gently touched my asshole with the tip of my finger.
It was still feeling a little swollen and
I wanted to look at it but
I knew that even with my mom’s small hand mirror
I’d have to either bend over and look at the mirror between my legs or stare into it while it picked up my reflection in the vanity mirror.
Either one of those things would make me lose my balance so
I figured I’d have to live with not knowing. Anyway later the doctor was probably gonna look at it and he’d tell me if there was a problem.
I sighed.
I couldn’t believe that
I knew that a doctor was gonna be looking at my asshole and that it didn’t bother me, well not much anyway.
I went out into the hallway and inched my way over to the top of the stairs.
I lied to my dad about the stairs, not completely because in fact
I didn’t know that
I would have a problem, just suspected it.
Iknew that
I couldn’t look down and the closer
I got to the stairs the more nervous
I got because
I had like this vision of myself going head first down the stairs.
Finally
I plastered myself against the wall of the hallway and crept very slowly sideways towards the stairway, feeling with my right hand for the handrail.
I shoved my hand down the back of my pajamas and gently touched my asshole with the tip of my finger.
It was still feeling a little swollen and
I wanted to look at it but
I knew that even with my mom’s small hand mirror
I’d have to either bend over and look at the mirror between my legs or stare into it while it picked up my reflection in the vanity mirror.
Either one of those things would make me lose my balance so
I figured I’d have to live with not knowing. Anyway later the doctor was probably gonna look at it and he’d tell me if there was a problem.
I sighed.
I couldn’t believe that
I knew that a doctor was gonna be looking at my asshole and that it didn’t bother me, well not much anyway.
I went out into the hallway and inched my way over to the top of the stairs.
I lied to my dad about the stairs, not completely because in fact
I didn’t know that
I would have a problem, just suspected it.
I
I couldn’t look down and the closer
I got to the stairs the more nervous
I got because
I had like this vision of myself going head first down the stairs.
Finally
I plastered myself against the wall of the hallway and crept very slowly sideways towards the stairway, feeling with my right hand for the handrail.