.......... . . ..... ... . . . .
I got it and began going down the stairs in slow motion while my eyes were plastered to the opposite wall and my feet were doing the seeing. It wasn’t that bad,
I could do this.
I made it into the kitchen and had two bowls of Cheerios and an apple.
I woulda fried an egg but
I got worried about something going wrong with the frying pan or something and
I knew that I might not be able to stop things cause of my dizziness.
When I was sitting there eating I thought about the three guys that did that to me, thought about what kind of meals they were eating.
I really didn’t give a shit about the main guy because he really was evil.
But I had been thinking that maybe the other two weren’t all that cool with everything that happened, that maybe they were just going along because they’d have been embarrassed in front of that guy if they didn’t.
At the time it was happening somehow my brain was still registering that one of the other guys was biting his lip and looking, at least for a moment, like he wanted to be someplace else.
I wondered if that was Connor’s friend Jeff.
I watched television in the family room for a couple of hours and then went back upstairs one stair at a time.
It was a lot easier than going down.
I took a long hot shower but it turned out to be a little harder than
I thought and I had to keep grabbing onto stuff but it was totally worth it and I felt a lot better.
I put on a pair of khaki’s because I was gonna see the doctor and somehow it seemed like
I should be a little better dressed for that then I would normally be.
Actually
I was a hell of a lot more worried about riding to the hospital with Jimmy than
I was about anything that I might run into with the doctor.
I mean what if he yelled at me all the way to the hospital about what a sick fuck
I was and how
I was a total embarrassment to him and the rest of the family.
It wasn’t that I didn’t have a bunch of shit about them that
I wasn’t too happy about but I just wasn’t dealing to well with this whole outcast thing.
The other thing was that, since it happened,
I was feeling all panicky, like I really should be staying in my room with my door locked and maybe even be under the bed.
I mean I understood that it was over but
I just didn’t really feel like I was safe. I’m not big like my brothers.
I can’t just punch somebody who gives me a hard time.
I always figured that I could rely on my them to bail me out but now it pretty much seemed like they were gonna be on the other side.
I heard Jimmy’s car pulling into the driveway and started for the door.
I wasn’t sure that he’d even be willing to wait for me and I didn’t want to give him any reason to just take off without me.
I guess that’s stupid.
The door opened when I was halfway to it and Jimmy was silhouetted in the doorway.
I stopped and he just stood there for a second and then he walked over to me.
As soon as he spoke I knew it was gonna be okay because it was his soft voice.
“You okay, Robbie? Gonna be able to make it?”
If it was Connor or Chase I might figure this for a setup but not with Jimmy.
It was still so hard for me to believe that Jimmy had been cruel to that other kid.
I woulda bet anything that he wouldnever do that.
I got it and began going down the stairs in slow motion while my eyes were plastered to the opposite wall and my feet were doing the seeing. It wasn’t that bad,
I could do this.
I made it into the kitchen and had two bowls of Cheerios and an apple.
I woulda fried an egg but
I got worried about something going wrong with the frying pan or something and
I knew that I might not be able to stop things cause of my dizziness.
When I was sitting there eating I thought about the three guys that did that to me, thought about what kind of meals they were eating.
I really didn’t give a shit about the main guy because he really was evil.
But I had been thinking that maybe the other two weren’t all that cool with everything that happened, that maybe they were just going along because they’d have been embarrassed in front of that guy if they didn’t.
At the time it was happening somehow my brain was still registering that one of the other guys was biting his lip and looking, at least for a moment, like he wanted to be someplace else.
I wondered if that was Connor’s friend Jeff.
I watched television in the family room for a couple of hours and then went back upstairs one stair at a time.
It was a lot easier than going down.
I took a long hot shower but it turned out to be a little harder than
I thought and I had to keep grabbing onto stuff but it was totally worth it and I felt a lot better.
I put on a pair of khaki’s because I was gonna see the doctor and somehow it seemed like
I should be a little better dressed for that then I would normally be.
Actually
I was a hell of a lot more worried about riding to the hospital with Jimmy than
I was about anything that I might run into with the doctor.
I mean what if he yelled at me all the way to the hospital about what a sick fuck
I was and how
I was a total embarrassment to him and the rest of the family.
It wasn’t that I didn’t have a bunch of shit about them that
I wasn’t too happy about but I just wasn’t dealing to well with this whole outcast thing.
The other thing was that, since it happened,
I was feeling all panicky, like I really should be staying in my room with my door locked and maybe even be under the bed.
I mean I understood that it was over but
I just didn’t really feel like I was safe. I’m not big like my brothers.
I can’t just punch somebody who gives me a hard time.
I always figured that I could rely on my them to bail me out but now it pretty much seemed like they were gonna be on the other side.
I heard Jimmy’s car pulling into the driveway and started for the door.
I wasn’t sure that he’d even be willing to wait for me and I didn’t want to give him any reason to just take off without me.
I guess that’s stupid.
The door opened when I was halfway to it and Jimmy was silhouetted in the doorway.
I stopped and he just stood there for a second and then he walked over to me.
As soon as he spoke I knew it was gonna be okay because it was his soft voice.
“You okay, Robbie? Gonna be able to make it?”
If it was Connor or Chase I might figure this for a setup but not with Jimmy.
It was still so hard for me to believe that Jimmy had been cruel to that other kid.
I woulda bet anything that he would